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In the biblical book of Exodus, God placed a very strong and scary calling on Moses' life. He would send Moses to mighty Pharaoh in Egypt, the land Moses escaped from, and have him demand the release of the Hebrew slaves. Moses' response in chapter 3 was understandable. He questioned, "Who am I that I should go and do this?"

This is a question I have wrestled with my whole life! Obviously, I've never been asked to perform so great a calling, but for so many years when I've considered my talents, experiences, and gifting, I've wondered, "who am I?" Do I have what it takes? I feel completely incapable. I've battled the constant tension of comparing myself to others. Do you do the same?

If you've been there before, you know going down that road is a losing battle. 

Moses replied to God with, "Who am I?"

How did God respond to Moses?

He said, "But I will be with you." In other words, "It's not about you, Moses."

This perspective is so challenging when it comes to songwriting. How do we move beyond the question, "Who am I?" Do I have what it takes? 

What's been helpful for me has been to shift my focus on who and what my music is for. Do I have a clear calling? Do I have a clear mission? Can I state it? Can I measure it? And can I trust God with it? What does it mean that He is with me in this mission? It's also been helpful to be reminded that at the end of the day I am not the center of the story. I get to play a part, but story is all about Jesus. God is with us as we play our part. I can let go.

If I'm not writing music, I'm dying! Do you feel that way, too?

Songwriting has been a major part of my life, as early as my elementary school years. It's in my blood. I don't write to get noticed or become popular, I write because I need to write. I need to get it out. 

Over the past decade or so, I've invested an increasing amount of time to co-writing. The process has been amazing and I advocate it everywhere I go. Over time, though, I've written so many songs that haven't been picked up in those co-writing groups. I've also written many I've chosen not to pitch. They were either too personal or I didn't want anyone to mess with them. Co-writing involves so much compromise. Our song ideas are given to others to share -- to change, adapt, add, delete, obsess, scrutinize, etc. Often we all end up with a better song (I think all of my best songs are co-written), but it has to go through the pains-taking process of altering to fit the identity of the group. I've started to really miss being able to create the music I want to create on my own terms, regardless of what other people think about it. I need a creative outlet! I also have a desire to release some of the songs I've written that haven't found a home yet. I feel the need to get them out.

I also care deeply about being a support to other songwriters. Working on these songs in the studio has also allowed me to wrap my head around the recording process for a solo artist. I've spent a lot of time in the studio from a collaborative perspective. It's been helpful for me to record songs as an artist who's trying to identify his own voice. 

Bottom line, Lollards exists as a personal creative outlet and also as an opportunity for me to support other songwriters better. If you're a fellow songwriter, I'd love to connect with you. Please reach out! If you're here and reading this because you like the music, I'm super honored. I'd love to hear from you, too!